WOMEN OF GOD - Who Are We?

We’re bombarded with models of women on TV, from Hollywood, on magazine covers, on billboards, in music, in store windows, everywhere we turn we are inundated with the world’s depiction of what the ideal woman should look and be like. The devil’s campaign has been so successful that many women of God have succumbed to the deception. We’ve swallowed the ruse so completely that too often there’s no distinction between them (women of the world) and us (women of God); we look and act like them.


The pressure is intense. What woman doesn’t want to feel beautiful? To be beautiful, however, we have to know the true meaning. The key is in where we derive our understanding of beauty? As a child and woman of God, I derive my understanding of beauty from the Word of God. In 1 Peter 3:3-5, the Word of God says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”

Again in1Timothy 2:9-10 we are instructed to “dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”

God created us all beautiful. We may not be attractive to everyone, but we each have our own unique beauty. Explore and strengthen it just as you would any other gift God has given you.

The filth of the world had tarnished us. Sin tarnished us. But in Christ we are new creations, redeemed and cleansed by the precious blood of Jesus Christ. We are incredibly valuable to God – priceless. Don’t let the world beat you down and fit you into its mold so that you become bland, indistinguishable, a carbon copy of the world’s picture of women. Lift up your head, square your shoulders and smile. You are of infinite value to the Lord and his plan. Adorn yourself with modest apparel and accessories. The scripture does not say, do not make yourself look physically attractive. It says to do so modestly and not to rely upon these physical adornments as your display of beauty. Your beauty should first come from within.

Is your attitude beautiful? Is your spirit peaceful and sweet? Do you mind your business and take care of your house? Are you taking care of your tent- your body and health? Are you tending to your spirit with the Word so that you’re able to care for yourself and family? Are you being a model of a godly woman of character and stature for your children and young believer’s in Christ? None of us are perfect. We will all make mistakes, but like the apostle Paul said:
 “Not that I have already obtained…or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me…Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:12-14)

Six years ago I received one of the highest compliments I could ever receive in my life – to God be the glory. I went back home to Trinidad to visit for my birthday. I hadn’t been home in 20 years! (The last time I lived in Trinidad was when I was 15 years old.)

When I lived in Trinidad many years ago, I spent a lot of time over my best friend’s house hanging out or as we would say, “liming.” She had four sisters and five brothers. When I went home to visit, I once again spent much of my time visiting with my best friend’s family. Unbeknown to me, one of her younger brothers had admired me when I was a teenager. (He was a handsome boy that grew up into a handsome young man.)The first day I went to visit with them, they called the brother that had admired me to let him know I was visiting. He quickly made his way to the house to see me. He shared with me that he had looked up to me when I lived in T’dad and had said he wanted to marry a woman like me. He had recently married in the last three years and said he found a woman like me. He pursued her for 13 years and did not defile her during their courtship. I was so touched and honored by this revelation. I don’t remember him sharing what it was about me that had left such an impression on him. It was enough to know that even at such a young age I had made a difference – to God be the glory. We are not only being examples to young women in Christ, but young men also.

Women of God, it’s not about us. That’s the world’s focus, not Gods’. I have a long way to go to reach the mark, but I continue to press forward. My attitude isn’t always good. Sometimes I give into my flesh and I’m not proud of it at all. But I get up and keep pressing towards the mark for which Christ took hold of me.

Let me encourage you, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2a) You are a peculiar being, a beautiful being, separate, holy- the temple of the living God. You are unique. Do not be molded into the pattern of a woman of the world. You’re a woman of God. Let your godly light shine!

Men, Please Speak Up

In 1990 I registered as a freshman at a small Christian College in the mid-west. On day 1, registration day, I witnessed something that made me wonder. (I'm sure it made others wonder as well.) As we stood there in line waiting our turn, some decided to sit on the floor as we waited our turn to register. One attractive young lady across from me had on a pair of short boxer shorts and sat down with one knee in a yoga position and the other knee raised. In doing so she exposed her butt cheek and inner thigh, very close to her vagina area. She was either unawares or didn't care. I could tell she wasn't trying to be sexy, but I'm sure the guys in view of the display might have had a hard time turning their heads away.

During lunch one day, about a month into my freshman year at that college, I sat down at a table with all male friends. As we were conversing, one of the guys said in frustration, "I wish the ladies could help us out a little and not dress so provocatively! It's difficult already as it it."

Over the years I've heard variations of these pleas and conversations. I wonder however, how many have actually said something in an appropriate manner to some of the women they see creating such temptation? If I were a betting woman, I would bet too few. I've known a few and I'm glad for their courage and concern, but note men, that many Christian women need you to speak up in this area.

A few years back I had a series of incidents that drove home the point to me and I've always dressed modestly all my adult life. But I've learned there are degrees of modesty. For example, I was on my way to volunteer to feed the homeless one winter morning and put on what I thought was a modest, orange turtle neck jersey and jeans. My fiance at the time asked me if I could put a sweater on over the turtle neck? I guess he felt that my breasts were to prominently displayed in the turtle neck and most of the homeless people at the shelter were going to be men. (No cleavage, no skin showing, but my size 6 figure was attractively outlined and he wanted to protect me from gaping men.)

Another time shortly after, but during the summer, I had on a short sleeve, summer knit dress, again, no cleavage showing and the dress was ankle length. However, because it was knit and I was a curvy size 6, I kept having to block my fiance's roaming hands. He got frustrated and said, "How in the *!?* do you expect me to keep my hands off you in that dress?!" Now I know I was dressed modestly. You couldn't have convince me otherwise. However, because it showed off my figure attractively, it presented an irresistable temptation to him. Shortly thereafter, my pastor's wife said to me one day as I was visiting her, "You know Beverly, you have a very attractive figure and I don't know how long you plan on prolonging your engagement. But make it easier on the guy by wearing clothing a little bigger than your size if you plan on winning the battle to remain pure until your wedding."

Her advice came at just the right time. I listened to both my fiance's fustration and heeded my pator's advice. It didn't alleviate all the struggles, but it sure cut down on the number of them. We didn't get married, so I'm very glad for the lessons I learned at that time, but more brothers need to speak up and help us, help them.

Just last week I heard the old familiar complaint again, "Why do some sisters in the church dress they way they do? They make it so difficult on us." Maybe because they don't know better and some maybe do want to attract your attention and maybe going about it the wrong way. Why don't you speak up?

***Let's start the dialogue about this subject. Please make all comments directly on the blog page. Do not send me emails about it. Also I think it would be helpful if you stated if you're single or married, Christian or non-Christian in your comments. Thanks